Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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