just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
