I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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