hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
