The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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