you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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