just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
COCAINE IS GR8
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
