Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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