I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
