My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
