Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
