i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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