I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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