Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
