How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I need to sanitize my soul.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
