i was rollin on her like bob the builder
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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