Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
