careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
