Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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