That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
