My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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