Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
