you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Randomize
