Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
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