Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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