Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
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That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
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you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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