Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
