You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Randomize
