C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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