UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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