you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize