im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
