I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize