Cold hands, warm shart.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
