im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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