Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
