it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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