I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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