ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
