so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
