Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I need to wash the frat house off of me
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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