tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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