If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
