I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
