I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
