should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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