I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
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Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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