He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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