At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
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I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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