So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
