He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
