It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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