I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Randomize
