I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
cat food counts as protein by the way
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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