I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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