The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
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Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
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You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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