Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize