There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
