I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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