Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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