Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
