White coat. Heels.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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