So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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