And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
